I am miserable

I dont think I can do more than a week away from her again. Ella is having a great time thought. Yesterday she went horse back riding and wants to do it again today but I think they are going to lake and use the paddle boats or fish. All in all, she is having a wonderful time. But I am not. I am totally lost with out her. I just get sad and dont get anything done that I thought I would. I have ALL this time and could totally use it to my benefit, and yet, I stay in my PJ's till after lunch. Ohh I am a pathetic mess.

So most of you guys know we are one some fertility meds to try and get pregnant again. According to the blood work, it is working but apparently, I just can not seem to make the whole "look who's talking" thing work. So Lisa, my friend who is an OB nurse told me to use an ovulation kit. So I thought it was like a pregnancy test. Two lines, pregnant. Only with the stupid ovulation ones, two lines mean NOTHING. You have to see if one line is DARKER than the other one. SERIOUSLY??? I cant tell. I am just so frustrated with all of this. I am 30, thought things would be a bit different, which is ok. This will be the last month I try to do this. We will need a break after this. I hate it. HATE IT. I would rather just get my pottery barn magazine and just order the baby I think is the best. Call it a day and wait for the stork to drop them off. Someone told me those babies were not available though.....

Shes gone...

Ella drove off with my parents today. For EIGHT days. I have very mixed feelings about this. I am not motivated to do anything I am just so sad. My parents and sister all make fun of me when I send her away, but I just freak out. Being adopted, she is the only living thing I have that is any part of me. Right now, I can not have more kids ( which is a whole nother post later) and if anything happened to her, I just do not know what I would do. Since I had Ella Kate, she is my "identity". I am used to having her around 24- 7. Yes, a break would be GREAT, but 8 days is really long. I dont know what I am supposed to do. I guess I will be talking to my self a lot since she is not here!! HA.

She left with instructions to paint her room pink and brown. So that will be my project while she is gone. Making her a really cool room.


Enough of the whining.

fun at Walmart

Everyone has told me I needed to start a blog about Ella Kate. Well almost three years have gone by and I am now starting one.

Today, Ella woke up at 5:40 am. FIVE FOURTY AM!!! Are you kidding me!!!! We get up and sleepily start the day. Here is what had happened by 9:30am:

Ella Kate, my dad and I go take Geoffs car to Walmart to get new tires. While we were waiting to pick out tires, I put Ella on the counter to "get out of the way". All of the sudden there was a big crash and down came a plastic jug of fuel additive. All over my foot, all over the floor. Well of course, since it was a non organic fluid, they have to clean up from environmental standards.

While we were waiting for "wet clean up in automotive" the machanics came out and told me they could not find the key to unlock the lug nuts on this stupid foreign car my DH has.

In the mean time, my father and machanic are furiously looking for it. Paged geoff three times and finally got him. Now I have the key. "I need to go potty", I hear from a very teeny tiny and yet, sweet voice. "ok Ella".

Walmart apparently has very touchy automatic flusher on the potty. Ella was doing her biz and the potty flushed. I have never in my life seen a child jump as high as she did. Off the toilet she came STILL peeing mind you. Scared to death, Ella climbed back up on the potty to finish her stuff, only for it to flush AGAIN. Not once, but twice did she jump off while peeing.

I wish I could say that was the only thing that happened today, but it was not. Enough though to start a blog!!!

Heather